All of these may or not be based on an anonymous author's real-life experiences. But I couldn't say for sure. 

1. You could wait at a bus stop for two hours- so long that bus drivers passing you recognize you because they've passed you on they're route so many times. Which could lead to the bishops wife asking you why you took that bus. You may have gotten to the point that you were so desperate for a bus on the cold windy day that every-time a bus would pass you would just start to laugh- because you couldn't believe yours still didn't come. You could have just sat there laughing on the road like a crazy person because you had waited so long. I felt like this would happen on a sitcom, and it would be one of those moments all the characters would bond over.  But . . . no one around me wanted to learn about the gospel and bond.  Sad, because I looked so cute and everything. Rats!
2. You could call everyone in the ward and tell them to greet your investigators that are coming tomorrow and get them all excited about a new whole family!!. . . and then have no investigators at church. And then the Elders could hypothetically have four people committed to church, and have no one come. I think my ward thinks we have an "imaginary investigator" problem haha. We sat in Gospel Principles like failures, with no one in the class but the teacher and the missionaries while the teacher drilled us about how to teach doctrine that leads us to people coming to church in Chinese. I'm not fluent in Chinese but I could still sum up the class in one word: Awkward. 
3. Have an investigator ask you very important questions about gender preferences and not have the vocabulary to answer any of her questions.  Or your companion.  And then you could hypothetically beg a new convert to teach you all the uncomfortable vocabulary you desperately need to know for your lesson tonight. Hypothetically. 
4. You could climb on top of a semi-truck, at a stop light, in the wind and rain, in order to hand a man an English class flyer- only to find out the Elders already gave him one and that he's not that interested anyways. I swear he just wanted to watch me struggle lol. Then, you could get stuck in the middle of the street when the light turned green and hand out flyers to people as they drove by with their windows open on either side of this highway. People slowed down and I felt like a celebrity.  Hypothetically I mean. 
5. You could eat so much chocolate bread in one sitting that the FamilyMart guy asks if you are okay.  I'm swearing off chocolate until Chinese New Years okay!  I just had a chocolate meal is all... Plus the guy like three feet away bought this chocolate cake at least for four people and then ATE THE WHOLE CAKE in one sitting which he was sitting there!  And no one asked him if he was okay! He just ate it like it was dinner!  Like no big deal!  And then cleaned up his trash and left. What the?  #welcometotaiwan #thisaintkansasanymore 

Christmas: 

Hey I head that I was all over that Christmas party at home. Wow! I must have had some fun ;).  Even if I was too made of cardboard to enjoy the food :). 

IT was good to skype and I got to enjoy cinnamon rolls at the mission home! It was so so fun. Sister Blickenstaff was so kind to make a special treat. I opened all the presents from the ward and it was crazy! Got some useful stuff- I'm currently rocking a new coin purse. ow ow! Also, a member gave me a Bible that has English and Chinese on the same page!  It is fantastic.  Also, I got a sweeet stuffed BYU bear from my one and only Pat & Debbie.  He’s getting a lot of snuggle time. I  haven't named him yet so I'm still taking suggestions on baby names. Anyone? And I loved hearing from the ward relief society…

Also, since they dont really celebrate Christmas here there isnt a really stop to Christmas... we still sang all the Christmas songs at church this Sunday... which helps the after-Christmas-blues. Shhhh don't tell them that Christmas is over! I like it. :) 

In other news: 

We gave our doorman a Book of Mormon Christmas Eve and he has been reading every night but we found out last night that he is moving :( But is taking the Book of Mormon with him! 

We have at least three new investigators! Including: 

• A former who called us and said she wanted to meet!
• A WHOLE family referral coming to church from a member
• A woman who came up and contacted us herself
• Another former investigator that loved us and the lesson we taught her,  and wants to read the Book of Mormon and come to church and bring her whole family!
• Two neighbors who both want us to come back and teach them and meet their children! 
• A less-active who decided she now loves us even though I called her to repentance a few weeks ago and told her she had to come to church to receive the blessings God has for her in her life. So that's swell! 

And the best part…  every single one of these people appeared in the last two days. Yayy :) 

Anyways, that's all. Love you!

This Week

It sufficient me to say that my companion and I felt prompted to this seemingly random house, that ended up being a less active family- with teenage sons and everything. We knocked on her door and I told her that she had prayed me here [in broken Chinese] and before she could be healed she had to come back to church so that The Lord could bless her.  She started bawling. Then I asked her if in the name of Jesus Christ if she would come back to church and she said, "bu yianyi", which means, "not willing". 

Her sons and husband were just starting at her.  It was heartbreaking.  We told the Elder's Quorum president about it and he said that he hadn’t even ever of heard of them, but that he would go over immediately. 

What else can you do? 

Here is a clip from my letter to President: 

Hello! Hope you are well! Things are going well here! I have employed a couple of the members to help me during language study time once or twice a week. It has been great for ward unity and with helping me improve my Chinese. Companion is good, area is good. Good is good. Good good. 

This week I was reading the Book of Mormon, and I just kept reading Enos over and over. I'm not sure why really. I decided I was going to do all my investigators commitments with them- read the parts I asked them to read, go to the meetings we asked them to, and pray about the things we asked them to.  I want them to know we support them every step of the way.  Anyway, I was most struck by how much labor Enos did to receive just a phrase from The Lord, and I think often I forget that that is exactly how a new  member feels sometimes. 

Miracles- I have had two great miracles! (1) We felt like needed to go a certain park so we went, and a man flagged us down. He went through every question on the question track and at the end said, "Well... my minister told me you were a bad church. But... I will tell you the truth.  I read the Book of Mormon completely a few years ago but didnt have the faith.  I think... I think I will read it again.  And I will see your church for myself.  Can I have to address?"  And (2) I passed off two lessons this week of phase one! I could never have done it without The Lords help.  He gives me strength far far beyond me own. 

Weird Food Wednesday is alive and well. 

But unexpected this week.  So, I steamed some broccoli for lunch Wednesday.  Here I go, to bite it, and I see... a silk worm!  Freshly steamed. Poor thing.  I pick that off. 

Oh wait, then another. Gross. 

Then another. Another. A whole nest of them!  The inside of the broccoli looks like a spider web but its really just silk worms! But I was so hungry so I thought I would just eat the stalk. But alas, there are tons of tiiiny tiny holes in it. 

No broccoli for me. 

I ended up eating dinner in a hole in the wall (like everyday) and I was watching this cockroach run up and down the wall. Then I realized I was happily eating in a restraunt with cockraches running up the wall and I wasnt even bothered. A mission changes you people. [I can hear the line in my head going, "you've changed!]

This next week is the English Christmas Party, and a musical number, and guess what! I have progressing investigators! So... more exciting news coming this next week! 

Love you all!