I have something for you. Spoiler Alert: It's a letter. 

So, there's a really good chance I may be reassigned state-side for six weeks. The districts two weeks older than us are all be reassigned and getting their assignments this week or next week. They were supposed to already be gone. Apparently, the visa system in Taiwan changed but there is "a new agent" at church headquarters and she decided our old applications were probably fine. They weren't. We may have to completely resubmit our entire application and wait another nine weeks. It's all up in the air. The Travel Office is most unhelpful and said "no, there's nothing you can do. No, we don't have any answers. No, we wont call the head office and find our answers. Go back to class" -__-. 

I don't mind going state-side at all for a season, its like the best of both worlds, but the inefficiency drives me a little crazy. But who else gets to open a second mission call in the MTC? That would be cool. I'd probably be English speaking though, so jumping back into Chinese would be hard. The only part I'm worried about is retaining Chinese. 

Okay so, first, I'm going to tell you the Top Ten funny moments of this week and then tell you some news straight from the prophet about how to take care of new members. Because apparently the members are really bad at taking care of new members and we're supposed to help change that. So I'm not going to let you be 'that kind of member' and we're gunna have a little talk about it. But first, 

Top Ten Funny Moments of This Week: 

1. We told Elder Barnum about the hamster (he left 15 minutes ago, we so had to). The first thing he said to Tang ZL was, "ohhh no, you cant get out of this now. I know what you said." So we had a good laugh. It was good thing we did too because the poor kid had a few sleepless nights about what to do about Tang ZL's hamster as a Zone Leader. He laughed at it though, so all's well that ends well.
2. So most mornings we get these hard boiled eggs at sack breakfast before gym. My comp and I went to crack them at the exact same time and WHAM... raw. Raw eggs. Raw eggs in our hands. We had to run around telling people not to crack open their eggs in the surrounding patios. I felt like a hero. 
3. Elder Varvel's mom sent him a Carbon Monoxide detector. Well actually, we sent him a six pack. With extra batteries. Haha its sweet, but Mom, I won't need those. All of our apartments have detectors. 
4. This week we were preparing a lesson and we had to teach what repentance was. I turned to my companion and said, "Okay next, repentance, what you got? " And she said, "ehhhh I don't really have much experience in that area...Not as much as you.  I think you should teach it!"   -__-  And thus we see what she thinks of me ;)
5. We had a class with our Taiwanese teacher about Taiwanese eating etiquette (which is may more lax than ours. For example, no several small forks. Not even several small chopsticks hehe). I was trying to ask if we put our napkins on our laps to be polite and she just started laughing. I didn't know why. Then she said, "that's why you do that? I just thought all my friends were just cold!" 
6. Apparently if you say demonstrate with the wrong tone its master. So instead of giving a demonstration... I may have told an Elder I'd be the master. Uncomfortable. 
7. One of the Elders was doing laundry last week and realized that he only wore three shirts last week... well, three shirts in eight days.. Don't be that guy people. Don't be that guy. 
8. I found out this week I'm older than my new teacher. He turned bright red and was so embarrassed... He told me I could call him Wu DX (Brother Wu) instead of Wu LaoShi (Teacher Wu) lol. I'm not sure why that embarrassed him... 
9. A poor little new sister got up to beat her testimony this week. She ended up saying, "I know that Joseph Smith loves us. I know that he is God's son. I know that Joseph Smith died for us, so that we could have all we have now." We were all trying to be polite but I was laughing. I just couldn't stop it. And the fact that I knew it was bad to laugh made it so much funnier. All the Elders put their heads down and you could just see their shoulders shaking. Elder Braden leaned over and goes, "Well if you think about it nothing she said isn't true." That made me laugh more. 
10. My companion and I were waiting for a the restroom while it was occupied. Then a man walked out! We sorta of looked at each other and then he was back! With a role of toilet paper! He gave us a weird look and he walked back into the bathroom and locked the door... We just found another bathroom.

BONUS: Okay so I have one more. Elder Varvel/Wan ZL always gives these hilarious lines of advice in peoples' bye-bye books (books we write in when someone leaves) and I wrote down the best ones from this week. So- "Remember, a fisher without a rod is no fisherman at all." And my personal favorite,"When you mount the horse of desire, be sure to hold the reigns." 
Okay so listen up. One of the seventy came and spoke to us at a devotional and told us that he had a message to give straight from President Monson. It was this: Over 15 years ago we had 300,000 new converts in a year. President Hinckley said 15 years ago that if we put in effort, we could double that number. We didn't.This last year, we had 300,000 new converts.  And that was with all the increase of missionaries and everything. Furthermore, we are losing maaaany new converts because they are not being taken care of. 

Ideally, missionaries continue to meet with new members and the ward members help the converts get adjusted. But that's not happening. So he listed five things we have to make sure are happening for our investigators AKA five things we have to make sure you are doing... so I am relating these on. These messages are from President Monson which means they are things the Lord himself has asked of us. Okay so

1. New converts should be eating dinner in members homes, and attending functions one on one to get to know members. Do you know who the missionaries are teaching in your ward? Have they been in your home for dinner? 
2. New converts should always always speak in church. Then in becomes their church. Not our church. 
3. Ask them where they are in the Book of Mormon (this is more for missionaries but a healthy reminder for members). Elder Clark said, "If they do not read the Book of Mormon, they will not stay." 
4. Help your converts get to the temple within the first month they are baptized. Salvation does not come unless they are endowed and sealed. 
5. Help new converts do family history work. Once they feel the spirit of Elijah and link generations "they cannot fall away." 

Sometimes we forget that joining the church involves learning a whole new language, and a new culture, much less changing numerous things about your life and yourself to follow Christ. Every new member needs the loving open arms of a friend. They still need to be taught. 

So about those visas. Really, it is okay if I go stateside, I just am starting to get to the point where I cant learn much more Chinese at the MTC. I never thought I'd say that, but I understand everything my teacher says and I understand almost everything that happens in lessons. I'm not close to fluent but I'm starting to feel a little stumped. 

One French philosopher said that we are not mortals, having spiritual experiences; We are spiritual beings having a mortal experience. Sometimes, in day to day frustrations, it just helps to keep an eternal perspective. Will it matter in a month? A year? Ten? Probably not. Few things do. And most wrongs will be made right by the atonement anyway. 

Love you all. Thank you so much for the packages and letters and love. I need it, and I so wish I had time to write you all back individually. Love you. 

Remember: He is actually most closer than we think. Seek him and ye shall find. 

                  

                                                                 

This is what we did for our elders this friday. Gave them each a scripture. Our last district leader got one about the lamanites killing thier leader and appointing another (dont worry we gave him a nice one too). 

Our Taiwanese teacher gave us these and made us eat them before she told us what it was... She said it was a cookie. No. No it was not a cookie. Its a devil in a package. Suuuper spicy tofu that has a beef-jerk-esk flavor to it. 

This is my zone. Don't worry- I havent gotten fat like that picture says. 

This is the day we got transfered. New seats! And a new teacher! He is literally perfect... like the most perfect human being I've ever met and expects us to be perfect too. Its good for us. 

One of our teachers loves to eat in class (we arent allowed to) and the other teacher is super strict. The strict teacher got upset because someone left milk in our room... it was our first teacher though! So Wan ZL wrote this note and wrote in for our relaxed teacher to see hahaha. She freaked out.

LOOK AT MY PACKAGES WHOO HOO HAPPINESS IN A BOX I LOVE YOU MOM AND AUNT DEBBIE! 

So we decided to start this competition on our temple walk.. remember that we have to make the MTC interesting? We started a competition to see who could take the creepiest photos... Here's Some of our district in action... 

sooo I eventually had a pretty good chance with this creepy photo.... 

But I won with this photo.... Si Tu ZL gave me a run for my money though. Competition was fierce. 

Ya I get bored on "temple walks". Oh the false freedom

Si Tu ZL made us all notes. This is mine, it has hashtags. Its now our running joke. Hence, the title of this letter :)